Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Got Married!!!

Guess what Spencer and Heidi did on November 20th? They got married in Mexico!!!

I thought for sure there would be hundreds of pictures of the two of them picking out dresses, tasting cake and meeting with the wedding planners (oh yes, I thought there’d be at least a half dozen), but I was wrong! Instead, the duo quietly eloped to Mexico with the photographers of UsWeekly.

I’m guessing their publicist lost my number? Did my invitation get lost in the mail? Because I totally would have been available to go and take pictures for them. Really, I wouldn’t have minded the exclusive. Hell, I’d have made a mad dash for the open bar bouquet and everything!

It’s such a shame that I wasn’t invited, because I would have been happy to give the couple the best gift they’ve ever received: a Carmen Electra Signature stripper pole. Maybe next time?