This is what Four Hours Got Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba must have hated her red hair as much as everyone else did, because yesterday she scheduled herself a four hour salon appointment. Four hours, and that’s all she got? Somebody get this girl a refund! Who leaves a salon wearing a ponytail? She might as well have left wearing a hat.

Pro tip, Jessica: You could have gotten the same results at home, for less than $10, with a bottle of Clairol. That would’ve only taken 30 minutes, max!

Jessica brought her dog with her to the appointment, and she must be a responsible pet owner. Are those poo bags I see, hanging from the leash? For some reason, she didn’t strike me as the type to pick up after her dog — I’m glad I was wrong!